I’m gay. I’ve been able to say that for a long time, but once upon a childhood, those were the scariest words in the world. I grew up in rural Oklahoma, a time and place where being out was truly dangerous. I don’t think or talk about it often, as it’s long removed from where I’ve built my life, but I remember kissing a boy named Jason, something he grew out of, and knowing from an early age that I wanted one other boy to hold hands with, to kiss. I’m incredibly fortunate that I got out, and that I survived with as little harm as I did. The hardest part was the loneliness, the isolation. Even in books, my best escape, I couldn’t find myself in the characters I read about. I remember parsing Tolkien for queer-coding, paying special attention to Merry and Pippin. But still the loneliness, the fear of being found out, of being hurt or killed, was with me every day. More than anything, this drives why I write the YA books I write, so that the next kid out there has them. I am beyond grateful to have the life I do, the friends I do, and the love I do. #NationalComingOutDay